The Art of Parenting: Nurturing Young Minds for a Bright Future

Maatru-Pitru Dharma” (मातृ-पितृ धर्म)

Introduction

Parenting today is a shared and evolving journey, deeply rooted in the duty (Dharma) of raising children with values, wisdom, and cultural heritage. It involves nurturing virtues, ethics, and life lessons to shape children into responsible, compassionate individuals. Parenthood is a unique responsibility with no formal training, little prior knowledge, and immense significance, as it directly impacts the people, we cherish most i.e our children.

Parenting is both rewarding and challenging, playing a pivotal role in shaping a child’s behaviour, emotional growth, and personality. Over time, parenting styles, values, and approaches have transformed, influenced by cultural, social, and technological changes. This blog delves into different parenting styles, the shift from traditional to contemporary approaches, and practical do’s and don’ts to help parents raise happy, well-rounded, and confident children in today’s dynamic world.

Types of parenting

Parenting styles are broadly categorized into four main types, as defined by psychologist Diana Baumrind, and later expanded by researchers. These styles influence a child’s behaviour, emotional development, and overall personality.

• Authoritative Parenting (Balanced & Nurturing)

  Authoritative parenting combines high expectations with warmth and support. Parents encourage their children to be independent while setting clear rules and using open communication to explain the reasons behind them. Instead of punishment, they focus on positive discipline to guide behaviour. This approach helps children develop confidence, responsibility, and strong social skills. Kids raised this way tend to have good emotional control and problem-solving abilities. By balancing love and discipline, authoritative parents create a healthy environment that fosters resilience and emotional growth, helping their children thrive both at home and in the world around them.

• Authoritarian Parenting (Strict & Controlling)

  Authoritarian parenting is a strict and controlling style with high expectations but little warmth or flexibility. Parents focus on discipline, obedience, and enforcing rules, often using punishment to maintain control. Children have little say in decisions, and mistakes are met with harsh consequences. While this approach may encourage discipline and obedience, it can also lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and resentment. Kids raised in this environment may struggle with confidence and emotional expression. The lack of warmth and encouragement can make them feel unheard and undervalued, leading to potential rebellion or fear of making mistakes.

• Permissive Parenting (Lenient & Indulgent)

  Permissive parenting is a lenient style that focuses on warmth and being more of a friend than an authority figure. These parents set few rules or expectations and rarely enforce consequences, often avoiding confrontation. While this approach creates a loving and supportive environment, it can also lead to challenges for children. Without clear boundaries or structure, kids may struggle with self-discipline, making decisions, and respecting authority. They may become impulsive or find it hard to handle responsibilities and rules as they grow. Permissive parenting, though well-meaning, can sometimes hinder a child’s ability to develop important life skills.

• Neglectful (Uninvolved) Parenting (Detached & Absent)

  Neglectful parenting, also known as uninvolved parenting, is marked by minimal involvement in a child’s life. These parents provide for basic needs like food and shelter but offer little emotional support, guidance, or communication. With low warmth and discipline, children often feel emotionally distant, insecure, and unsupported. This lack of connection and involvement can lead to low self-esteem, behavioural problems, and difficulty managing emotions. Without the guidance and encouragement, they need, children may struggle to develop healthy relationships and the confidence to navigate challenges as they grow. Neglectful parenting can leave a lasting impact on a child’s emotional well-being.

Other Parenting Styles (Modern Variations)

Understanding these styles helps parents create a nurturing environment that supports their child’s growth and well-being.

• Helicopter parenting involves being overprotective and constantly monitoring every aspect of a child’s activities to ensure their safety and success.
• Tiger parenting is characterized by highly demanding expectations, with a strong emphasis on strict discipline and achieving success in academics or extracurricular activities.
• Attachment parenting focuses on building a close emotional bond with the child by being highly responsive to their needs and ensuring their emotional security.
• Free-range parenting encourages children to develop independence by allowing them freedom with minimal supervision, promoting self-reliance and confidence.
• Gentle parenting emphasizes respect, empathy, and non-punitive discipline, fostering a supportive and understanding environment for children.

Do’s and Don’ts in Parenting

By following these do’s and don’ts, parents can create a supportive and loving environment that fosters their child’s emotional and intellectual growth.

Do’s

• Show love, patience, and understanding to build a strong bond.
• Set clear and consistent boundaries to guide behaviour.
• Encourage open communication and active listening.
• Model positive behaviour and problem-solving skills.
• Support your child’s independence and decision-making abilities.
• Provide a safe and structured environment for learning and growth.
• Encourage effort and resilience rather than focusing solely on achievements.

Don’ts

• Avoid harsh punishments or excessive criticism, as it can harm self-esteem.
• Do not compare your child to others, which can lead to insecurity.
• Avoid overprotecting or micromanaging, as it hinders independence.
• Do not ignore your child’s emotions—validate and help them express feelings.
• Avoid inconsistent rules or discipline, which can cause confusion.
• Do not neglect self-care—parenting is demanding, and your well-being matters too.

Parenting in Olden Days v/s Now

Parenting has evolved significantly over time. Below is a comparison of traditional and modern parenting approaches:

Parenting in Olden Days v/s Now

The approach to parenting in both structures influence a child’s social, emotional, and psychological development in different ways.

Other factors that influence parenting

1. The Impact of Technology on Parenting 

Technology has transformed parenting in profound ways. While it provides educational tools, entertainment, and communication, it also presents challenges like screen addiction, cyberbullying, and reduced face-to-face interactions. Parents must find a balance by setting screen-time limits, monitoring online activity, and encouraging offline engagement.

2. The Role of Culture in Parenting

Culture plays a significant role in shaping parenting practices. In collectivist societies like India, China, and Japan, respect for elders and family values are emphasized. In contrast, Western societies often prioritize individuality and self-expression. Understanding cultural influences helps parents adapt strategies that align with their values while fostering healthy development.

3. Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is crucial for a child’s success and well-being. Parents can nurture EQ by:

• Teaching self-awareness and empathy.
• Encouraging emotional expression and problem-solving.
• Modelling healthy emotional responses.
• Providing a secure and supportive environment.

4. The Importance of Positive Discipline

Discipline should teach rather than punish. Effective discipline strategies include:

• Setting clear expectations and explaining consequences.
• Using time-outs and logical consequences instead of physical punishment.
• Reinforcing positive behaviour through praise and rewards.
• Maintaining consistency in rules and expectations.

Follow the 7.7.7. rule

Play with them for the first seven years, then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and beyond).
 

FIRST SEVEN YEARS (AGES 0-7)

Children are curious and absorbent. They learn best through play and by observing the world around them. Parents play a vital role in providing a safe and stimulating environment to explore and experiment. This can be as simple as playing together on the floor, reading stories, or going for walks in nature. Invest the time and energy into building a strong connection now, you’re laying the rule of groundwork for a happy, healthy, and secure future for both of you.

THE ELEMENTARY YEARS (AGES 7-14)

This is the time when children are sponges, ready to soak up anything and everything you show, teach, and tell them. This is the time to teach them faith/spirituality and community. They are still in the process of lean what is right and what is wrong. Kids are developing their social and emotional skills during this time. They are learning how to interact with others, make friends, and resolve conflicts. It’s is the parents’ responsibility to teach the child how to behave, how to choose their environment and WHO they fill that environment with, so that they can continue to do what is best for them. Sports and group activities have many benefits including teamwork, leadership, sportsmanship and physical fitness.

THE FINAL SEVEN YEARS (AGES 14-21)

Once your child hits 14 (around puberty), children achieve independence, and they develop their personality. Befriend them, advise them, and do what you can; understand that they are now full adults, and the choices are theirs to make, right or wrong. Teens crave independence, but they still need you guidance. Respect their choice. They are still learning and growing. There will be times they make mistakes, and that’s okay. Let them experience the consequences of their choices, while still being there for them.

Community help- Parenting app

Here are some widely used parenting apps that offer guidance, tracking, and resources for parents:

1. BabyCenter – Expert advice, milestone tracking, and community forums.
2. Peanut – A social network for moms to connect and seek advice.
3. Parentune – Indian parenting community with expert tips and discussions.
4. Khan Academy Kids – Engaging educational content for early learners.
5. PBS Kids Games – Fun, interactive learning for young children.
6. Huckleberry – Sleep tracking and personalized sleep plans.
7. Glow Baby – Tracks feeding, sleep, and milestones for infants.
8. Sprout Baby – Medical records, feeding logs, and growth tracking.
9. Google Family Link – Manages screen time and app usage for kids.
10. Bark – Monitors online activity to keep children safe.

Question: Why do obedient kids at times struggle in life?

Answer: Parenting styles significantly influence a child’s self-perception and interactions with the world. Strict, rule-bound parenting often limits a child’s ability to express their opinions, fostering self-doubt and low confidence. Children raised with a ‘fear of failure’ mindset may struggle with decision-making, conflict, and self-expression as adults. They may hesitate to share ideas, fearing mistakes and seeking external validation over trusting their instincts. These parents should practice the following-

• Path to Resilience: Awareness is key—balanced parenting styles, like authoritative parenting, emphasize warmth, guidance, and open communication.
• Positive Outcomes: By encouraging autonomy and self-expression, children develop confidence, resilience, and emotional strength that last into adulthood.
• Hopeful Takeaway: A shift toward nurturing yet structured approaches can empower children to thrive in all areas of life.

Question: How can working parents build strong bonds with their kids?

Answer: Working parents often feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children or missing special moments. However, building strong bonds isn’t about the quantity of time but the quality of interactions. Simple, intentional moments like bedtime routines, breakfast chats, or weekend activities can create meaningful connections. Small, consistent actions, such as sharing laughs or having undistracted conversations, help foster secure bonds. Flexibility and understanding are key—it’s not about being perfect but being present in ways that work for your family. By carving out manageable moments, parents can create a loving, supportive environment where children feel valued and secure.

Conclusion

“Your children will become who you are; so be who you want them to be.”

Parenting is a journey of growth, love, and adaptability, where the goal is to create a nurturing environment that helps children thrive. Successful parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present and understanding a child’s unique needs while encouraging their independence. By balancing love, discipline, and emotional intelligence, parents can guide children to become confident, compassionate, and capable individuals.

Overprotective parenting, while rooted in care, can hinder a child’s development. When children are shielded too much, they miss opportunities to build essential life skills, resilience, and independence. Accomplishing tasks and facing challenges helps them gain confidence and social competence. Excessive restrictions can lead to anxiety and limit their ability to function independently. Striking the right balance is key—providing support while allowing children the freedom to explore, make decisions, and learn from experiences fosters their growth and prepares them for life’s challenges.